You guys I just read about this amazing April First Enterprises job opportunity. They offer 2000 dollars a day just for signing some unimportant papers each day. That’s it. Nothing more is required from you. Beside the generous salary, you can expect the following perks:
- Huge executive office with bathroom, complete with pool table, pinball machines and video games.
- Free delicious food prepared by a top notch team of world class chefs.
- Massages and a fitness instructor.
- Your own secretary.
- Chauffeur-driven limousine available at all times.
- Fully furnished luxurious penthouse apartment close to the red light district.
- Your own lawyer for free. You may be forced to go to court several times a year.
April First doesn’t require you to have any qualifications. In fact the less educated you are the better. Any training necessary will be given to you by the owner of the company on your first working day. It’s a bonus if you have an alcohol problem or like running with scissors. You can email fools at april dot first to apply.
Okay, this is the best I could come up with for April Fools Day. Other people prepared better it seems. Google killed their Google Reader, but still had time to work on April Fools pranks. This year they didn’t produce anything special though.
Twitter had the best joke. Supposedly they want to charge for vowels in tweets. Actually this is not such a bad idea. Another joker claims that Linus Torvalds is going to head the Windows 9 project at Microsoft. I think that we can be quite certain that Linus Torvalds doesn’t want anything to do with Windows since he is the creator of the open source operating system Linux, which is a rival of Windows.
Google and Microsoft took the opportunity to be mean to each other. Again nothing special. I don’t think anybody cares about that. Someone is claiming that Da Vinci is the original inventor of Google Glass. That’s definitely not true. The true inventor is my grandfather, who invented Google Glass while fighting Santa Claus and his gang of highly trained Eskimo Ninjas on the North Pole. Or maybe it was the South Pole.
Disclaimer: happy April Fools Day. If you didn’t realize what day it is today, then you might have a problem.
April Foolishness 2013